So I’ve started to accept that I’m THAT guy.

I’ve got two young kids. I’ve got a lot going on in the evenings. I never seem to be able to sit down until around 9:00. So I rarely watch a sporting event in real time. I’ve come to be dependent on my PVR.

I watch the really important games on the same night. I’ll start them later than real time but I’ll stay up and finish them. But because there’s so many sports and so little time, often I’ll be a day before I can watch a particular game. And let it be known: I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THE SCORE.

I’ve gotten pretty good at avoiding scores. I don’t watch tv in the morning. I stay off social media. I’ve got podcasts for the car instead of the radio. And I’ve been around people enough for them to know I don’t want to know. But when something happens and they slip up, that’s it.

They’ve ruined my day. They’ve ruined my life even, and I make it known.

I don’t mean to make it known. I don’t say anything outright. I get quiet. I get a look on my face. I respond with short answers. I honestly do that so they won’t feel bad. I try to avoid saying too much. I know it’s my problem. I try to keep them from finding out I’m actually in a seething rage.

My mouth says oh really? Wow. That high a score. Huh. The last minute? Is that right. Horrible call in the second? Roughly 5 minutes in? I’ll have to look for that.

But apparently my eyes say if you ever tell me a f@king score again I’ll slowly sew your lips to your nostrils with no freezing. They always know.

And I don’t necessarily care. I don’t want them to feel guilty, but if they know, at least they won’t let it happen again. And that’s what makes me THAT guy.

I don’t want them to feel guilty, but I fully expect them to feel guilty. It’s not their fault I didn’t see the game last night, but it’s not my fault they did. What is their fault is starting their story at the end.

It’s not right for a person to come out of the latest Star Wars movie and start right into how “Han Solo dies”, then say “did you see it yet?”. In this day and age of saving things and binge watching, I expect no less when it comes to sporting events.

Is that too much to ask?